1st Attempt: Fail

I've been wanting to video a cover of SUJU's "Sorry Sorry" for a long time. Since I first saw the video I've been thinking that I want to do a cover of this and upload it to erm... facebook? So I started to learn the dance, doing it in front of my mirror after school and checking to see whether I did the moves correctly. Well, since it's the holidays now, I figured that I might as well do it. I mean, how difficult can this get?

So I started my Trial No.1 today. It didnt look so good since my grandparents were at home and it got really awkward. Plus, I look like some retard in front of the mirror and forgot most of the choreo.

This has definately been a setback. But I will get it done. Get it done, I will. Back to spamming "Sorry Sorry Dance Videos".

This is what I sent to SPH.

As the title goes... yeah. I sent this just yesterday because i was editing it for about a million times. Hope it works, Hope it's good, Hope they like it and publish it. Screw the cash. I want to see the published work more.

上海随笔

中国是我经常去的地方，无论是和家人旅行或者是参加学校交流活动。其中，上海是我去过次数最多的地方。因此，坐在前往上海的飞机时，我对这次的旅行并没有太大的期望。根据以往到上海的经验，在上海除了购物，还是购物。上海的外滩，南京路步行街和徐家汇我已经去过无数次了。但是这一次的旅行不但给了我许多惊喜，也让我发现了我心目中的另一个上海。

从“绿”到“灰”

如果新加坡是“花园城市”，那么上海就是“建筑博物馆”，收藏了许多现代和旧式的房子。以往我对上海那密密麻麻的高楼大厦感到非常不习惯。周围的钢筋水泥给我的感觉就像陷入十面埋伏一样，不管走到哪里除了楼房就是商业区，一点儿绿色都没有。但在上海走过了许多街道和看过形形色色的建筑后，我对这个水泥森林渐渐地有了不同的认识。你可以在陆家嘴看到豪华高级的住宅，在衡山路看到优雅宁静的老洋房，也可以在像闸北区的地方找到一些比较简陋破旧的房子。那些楼房的油漆大部分已经剥落，墙壁上也出现许多裂痕，看起来像一座座被风化的古堡。但是，房子虽然简陋，这才是一部分上海市民真正居住的地方。站在闸北区天目东路的天桥上，眼前的街道映入眼帘。一栋栋灰色楼房，在尘土飞扬的马路边买西瓜的老太太，桥下行乞的人，将我心目中繁华上海的绚丽色彩蒙上了灰色的忧伤。

一顿饭的威力

上海的美食数不胜数，从街边小摊到高级饭馆，都有令人垂涎三尺的美食。只要你肯冒这个险，你就会从一日三餐中发现许多惊喜。刚到上海的那天晚上，原本打算到酒店旁边的便利店买点东西吃。结果在门口看到一条小胡同，里头有一家名叫“麻辣联盟”的小饭馆。饭馆里的装修非常简陋，但是食物便宜又可口，物超所值，也是许多打工族吃夜宵的地方。

在上海就是这样。不管是吃川菜也好，粤菜也好，坐在餐桌前的人虽然有不同的文化背景和语言，但是吃饭是人类的共同语言，不分文化种族。因此，来自不同地方的人都可以在饭桌前谈古论今，互相交流。一张普通的餐桌也可以成为一个国际交流中心。不仅可以品尝到美食，还可以认识五湖四海的朋友。

有一次妈妈的朋友一家人带我们去一个叫“香港粗菜馆”的地方。名字虽“粗”，菜做得却非常精致，价格也十分公道。许多香港大明星比如甄子丹，洪金宝都去那里吃饭，并和饭馆的老板合影留念。品尝美食的时候我也和妈妈同事的儿子畅谈“中新”教育的不同，互相分享自己读书的经验。建议大家到上海时不妨到那家餐馆吃饭，包你大饱口福。

另一次，我们一家人连同不会说英文的奶奶和居住在上海的丹麦朋友一家到“宋记香辣蟹”吃晚餐。在品尝美食的同时，我们也了解丹麦人的文化习俗，比如他们能喝酒，爱吃辛辣食物，性格直率开朗，什么都能说，不像我们亚洲人那么保守。俗话说“酒逢知己千杯少，话不投机半句多”。几杯酒下肚，我们大家都畅所欲言，连我那不会说英文的奶奶也通过我这个翻译介绍了她过去的许多亲身经历。听着她的口述历史，仿佛走入时光机，回到过去的年代。那对丹麦夫妇也听的津津有味。我突然被眼前的景象所感动。餐桌前的人虽然来自完全不同的两个国家，但是仍然能够如此和谐亲密的交流，犹如兄弟姐妹一般。如果世界也是如此，没有战争，不分种族，地球村的人民能够快快乐乐的在地球这个大餐桌前开心的用餐谈天，那该有多美好啊！

师傅，请带我去….

出租车是上海的“流动景点”，这句“师傅，请带我去…”，在这次的旅行中也说了无数次了。凡是从外地到上海的人，无论是办工也好还是观光也好，都会坐上出租车。上海的出租车公司不胜枚举。清一色的大众“桑塔纳2000”上面印着不同公司的商标，红黄白绿的使上海的马路变成一道道彩虹。

上海的马路像迷宫一样，平时方向感不错的我上了上海的高速公路后把头都弄晕了。刚抵达上海的时候，出租车从机场到酒店的路上不知在几个高速公路上上下下，越看越糊涂。就连拥有10年开车经验的爸爸去年在上海开车时也被高速公路弄得晕头转向，绕了一圈又一圈。因此，我非常佩服上海的出租司机。能对上海的公路了如指掌，又能在这个大迷宫内穿梭自如，真的很不简单。

上海的出租司机属于低收入的工人。他们的工作时间漫长无聊，因此他们会向乘客们聊天诉苦。这也许也是他们娱乐和解闷的方法之一吧。有一次，当我们在虹桥机场送奶奶上飞机后，因为妈妈急着要去徐家汇办事，所以我们不想到楼下和其他人排队等出租，干脆直接在离境大堂寻找出租车。不料，许多出租司机告诉我们：“不是我们不要接这门生意，但是机场都有人盯着我们呢，如果接了会罚钱的”。后来我们终于找到了一位大胆的师傅肯在出境大堂那儿接客。他便开边跟我们说：“我们在这里做生意像做贼似的”，并骂了几句脏话。后来想想，为了多赚一些钱，那些司机愿意冒着被罚款的风险为我们这些“懒人”服务。想着相着，心里便产生一种罪恶感。

所谓“读万卷书，不如行万里路”。我相信这些出租司机们的生活也是多姿多彩的。他们每天都会有一种惊喜，因为你不可能知道下一个乘客会是谁，下一个地点到底是哪里。这会比每天在办公室面对一台电脑好得多吧。坐在出租车上和出租司机聊天，能够更深一步地了解上海市民的生活。就是这个原因，上海的出租车像一个时间囊一样，里面收藏着上海市民随着时代的进展而产生的快乐，烦恼，以及生活的酸甜苦辣。

上海，一个流连忘返的城市

坐在离开上海的飞机上，地下的建筑变得越来越渺小，密密麻麻的覆盖着上海的土地。飞机离开上海才不到十分钟，我已经开始想念那渐渐变得亲切的上海口音，穿梭在车流之间所带来的刺激和出租司机的唠叨。我发现要感受城市的灵魂并不难，只要张大眼睛仔细观察，就能够在最平凡的事情中发现一个城市的可爱之处。说也奇怪，上海看似纷乱拥挤，但是它并没有让我产生反感。在上海忙忙碌碌的人们，每个人都有不同的理想，而且都为了生活在努力的奋斗。虽然我就像人海里的一滴水珠，但我也感受到了这个城市奋发向上的精神。我也和他们一样，正在为自己的将来而努力拼搏。那一刻，我暂时忘记自己，完全沉浸在这种氛围之中，回味着上海带给我的惊喜。这次旅行让我对这个城市流连忘返，我想我还会再回来的，因为还有许多东西等着我去体会，去感悟。

Price of Revolution

I just watched BodyGuards And Assassins yesterday with my family. It was the best movie I've seen so far this year, besides Angels and Demons. It's not just a normal Bodyguards vs Assassins or Good vs Evil flick, but it holds much deeper underlying meanings. It showed me an inkling of what a Revolution truly is. Revolution is not just about distributing flyers and staging demonstrations in order to fight for your rights and for what you believe in. Revolutions are much more violent than I ever imagined.

The protagonists, although they lead totally different lives, all come together to protect one man because of different reasons.This is the price of change, requiring the loss of innocent lives, lives that were not meant to be sacrificed but eventually did for one man's vision. To overthrow the Qing Dynasty to pave the way for a democratic China. By the people, for the people. No one will ever have the advantage over others, and everyone will have equal opportunities. That is perhaps what Dr. Sun had in mind. I'm not one who understands his theories well, but he is truly a great man in history. His revolution paved the way for modern China and ended centuries of aristocratic and authoritarian rule. Without him, I guess I'll still be living in a traditional chinese courtyard and be a young master of my family. Haha.

I guess Dr.Sun's cause is truly one that is worth dying for. I could feel the atmosphere and the passion of the supporters, and also feel the pain when the Bodyguards fell one by one to give Dr.Sun enough time (1 hour) to conclude his meeting and start the revolution.

Who cares about the Kung-Fu scenes? I believe that they are not the focus of the film. The main focus is about the unsung heroes who died for Dr, Sun's cause, who gave their lives to pave the way for a better tomorrow. It's cruel, but sometimes that is the only way.

Freelance Writing? Sounds good

Due to my trip overseas, I didn't have enough time to find myself a part time job. Since there is only one month left, I'm sure no one wants to employ me now. So... I think i'll just try to write some chinese articles and sending it to Zaobao to see whether it would get published and I can get me some money. I'm not damn good in chinese but I figured that there's no harm to give it a shot. Let the inspiration begin!

Vanishing.... Vanishing.... Vanishing....

Guess the people who visit my blog is near zero now. So it's just me, myself and I reading my blog. Guess blogger templates and posts consisting of just texts are not attractive at all. But nevermind. I'm not sure about you, but it's a whole different feeling looking at this blog now. Although there are near zero visitors, but at least I am quite satisfied with what I wrote here.

To those that might pass by this simple haven of mine, I'm flying off in approximately 6 hours back to China to visit my relatives and enjoy abit of my vacation. I'll be off the grid, which means that I'll "vanish" for a week. Till then, Seeya!

What's Next?

What comes after the last O'Level paper? Excitement, joy, freedom.

What comes after the day after the last O'Level Paper? Surrealism, boredom.

What comes after the day after that? Total boredom+ A TINY bit of anxiousness.

Is it just me or does everyone feel that way? Boredom+Anxiousness. Am I worried about how my result will turn out to be? Affirmative. I can't help but think about it sometimes, although I always tell myself to relax and throw these thoughts away.

Conclusion? I need something to do. Something that will occupy my mind to prevent me from getting anxious or nervous for no damn reason. I need more outings and stuff, I need to start thinking of conductive things to do, I may even need a job. Who knows? Any suggestions?

DoomsDay

Must Doomsday occur, to make mankind set aside their differences and understand that they are actually part of one gigantic family that walks the face of the earth?

Must Doomsday occur, to make Man realise that you should never screw around with Nature?

Must Doomsday occur, to make Man see their true self before washing them into the Ocean of Regret and suffering?

Must Doomsday occur to make Man treasure what they have now?

Must Doomsday really occur?

I think only God knows that. But when it comes, I believe that we will show them the power of the human mind and spirit.

Something is very very wrong with my Blogger. Everytime I enter the "Create Post" page it screws up the layout of the page. I have words that overlaps and appears on the textbox as I am typing this out. Some help? I don't want to start a new one yeah?

荷塘月色

　　这几天心里颇不宁静。今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听不见了；妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。我悄悄地披了大衫，带上门出去。
　　
沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊(wěng)郁郁的。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。
　　
路上只我一个人，背着手踱（duo)着。这一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一个世界里。我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。
　　
曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜(niǎo,nuó)地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动，像闪电般，霎时传过荷塘的那边去了。叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉(mò)的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更见风致了。
　　
月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样；又像笼着轻纱的梦。虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云，所以不能朗照；但我以为这恰是到了好处——酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，峭楞楞如鬼一般；弯弯的杨柳的稀疏的倩影，却又像是画在荷叶上。塘中的月色并不均匀；但光与影有着和谐的旋律，如梵婀(ē)玲(英语violin小提琴的译音)上奏着的名曲。
　　
荷塘的四面，远远近近，高高低低都是树，而杨柳最多。这些树将一片荷塘重重围住；只在小路一旁，漏着几段空隙，像是特为月光留下的。树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾；但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也辨得出。树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山，只有些大意罢了。树缝里也漏着一两点路灯光，没精打采的，是渴睡人的眼。这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是他们的，我什么也没有。
　　
忽然想起采莲的事情来了。采莲是江南的旧俗，似乎很早就有，而六朝时为盛；从诗歌里可以约略知道。采莲的是少年的女子，她们是荡着小船，唱着艳歌去的。采莲人不用说很多，还有看采莲的人。那是一个热闹的季节，也是一个风流的季节。梁元帝《采莲赋》里说得好：
　　
于是妖童媛(yuàn)女，荡舟心许；鷁(yì)首徐回，兼传羽杯；欋(zhào)将移而藻挂，船欲动而萍开。尔其纤腰束素，迁延顾步；夏始春余，叶嫩花初，恐沾裳而浅笑，畏倾船而敛裾(jū)。
　　
可见当时嬉游的光景了。这真是有趣的事，可惜我们现在早已无福消受了。
　　
于是又记起《西洲曲》里的句子：
　　
采莲南塘秋，莲花过人头；低头弄莲子，莲子清如水。今晚若有采莲人，这儿的莲花也算得“过人头”了；只不见一些流水的影子。这令我到底惦着江南了。
　　
这样想着，猛一抬头，不觉已是自己的门前；轻轻地推门进去，什么声息也没有，妻已睡熟好久了。

For those of you who don't read chinese, nevermind. The text above was written by a famous chinese author called Zhu Zi Qing. Why am I posting this? Because I had to copy one of this as a punishment for not bringing my chinese textbook. Well, not the whole text of course, because the version of the text in my textbook is edited. So I did, and to top it off, I wrote an extra 2 pages of reflections on it. Turned out to be quite well I think. So I'm attaching it here to. Have fun reading it. Hope it makes some sense. Give this poor guy some encouragement yeah?

文章里的荷塘月色，是美丽的，平静的。它像贝多芬的《月光》钢琴奏鸣曲一样，温柔，优美。读者这篇散文，我仿佛又听到那一段熟悉的旋律，安静又美妙。听着《月光》，脑海里浮现着作者背着手伫立在他熟悉的荷塘边欣赏月色。他闭上眼睛，嘴角边露出一丝微笑，也露出一丝醉意。俗话说“酒不醉人人自醉”，作者就是这样陶醉在夜晚的荷塘中，什么都不想，仿佛他已成为大自然的一部分。

也不知过了多久，他慢慢想起自己的凡尘俗事，不得不从梦中醒来。带着几分遗憾和惋惜，他慢慢地走回家，离开这片世外桃源。

也许，夹在天与地之间的人们是孤独的，只有欣赏和评价的权利，没有改变或保留的自由。景色一直都在，但是人么只能站在那里观赏，并像作者一样感到人类的渺小。有时候，大自然是残酷的，一直都在嘲笑人类，嘲笑他们无论怎样努力都不会赶上它，嘲笑他们的可怜。它像一个骄傲的孔雀一样，现世人展示它的美。

月光，依旧照着荷花，荷叶。荷塘边的杨柳依旧随着微风轻轻的摇曳。《月光》奏鸣曲，也在这荷塘的月色中轻轻地，轻轻地，弹出最后一段优美的旋律。曲子结束了，但是最后一个以Pianissimo弹出的乐符，依旧悬挂在空中，展现出大自然幽美，安静，害羞的一面。

Pro SNSD? Maybe....

I don't know how long it has been since I came back to update this. Recently lots of things have been going on, mostly O'Level preparations. This is the period where you can actually feel the heat and pressure building up, I guess. Boon Hui, if you're reading this you're right. It sometimes makes your life living hell. Anyway, Thanks to Beethoven, Mozart, other classical composers like Verdi and SNSD for making my days a little better. Speaking of SNSD, it's something that I really want to talk about.

We all have dreams of becoming a star at some point in our lives. To me, I always wondered that it must feel good to be a celebrity. You are popular, you mix around with beautiful people, you live in a posh apartment and do whatever you want to do, and you always look really happy. That's the image that we get from the TV. I must admit that it was only recently that I truly realised that it's not always as easy as it appears to be. I got many examples from Disney, and most of all, SNSD themselves. I'm just stating a few examples, because I have more knowledge about them.

Being a star is difficult. Why? The first reason is because they have to preserve their image. It's like "Atticus is the same man in the courtroom as he is on the streets" concept. Sometimes, these images that they show to the public are not their real personality and image. It's a tough thing to do, and breaking the image will have repercussions. Look at Vanessa Hudgens for example. I don't hate her, I think she's beautiful and sweet, but when some photos of her private life was leaked, it seriously threatened her career. I believe that it was not her fault, but this is what will happen if Atticus Finch becomes a different man at home.

Also, I believe that as long as you are a celebrity, You will have anti-fans. Dealing with them is a difficult thing to do, especially when you are dealing with boycotting from fans. Check this out.



Notice something strange here? The stadium is pitch-dark instead of the usual waving of light sticks. Here's why. ELF, the fanclub of Super Junior, Triple S, fanclub of SS501, Cassiopeia, fanclub of DBSK has decided to remain silent and switch off their light sticks to protest against SNSD because some of their fans started turning violent and tore the SUJU banner. I was really sad when I watched the video. Does SNSD deserve that sort of treatment? I believe that they want to give a good show to the audience, like everyone else there. Why must they suffer because of mistakes made by their fans, who did go overboard to show their love for them.

Besides that, there have also been an uproar about SNSD being disrespectful, especially Tiffany who apparently said something disrespectful to ShinHwa, who are now an established and respected group in the K-Pop industry. Well it's hard for you to believe me since I like SNSD alot, but I have to say that I believe she meant no harm and had no malicious intents. Because of cultural differences and age, certain mistakes can be accepted and forgiven. They haven't been into the industry for too long, give them time to learn, I guess. About bashing groups, it can't be helped but boycotting a performance is really going overboard. It's not fair to the artiste, and it certainly does not make the overall show look good. Don't blame the artistes for the mistakes of the fans.

Whoa.... this post is soon turning into a defense for SNSD, mostly because I like their music and the group, and I honestly did feel quite sad to see such things happening to them. To sin is human, to forgive is divine. I know disrespect is a huge sin, especially in the entertainment industry, but don't keep bashing a group because of some really old events. I don't think anyone will feel entertained if you just talk about the same old event that ruined a celebrity's image. If you don't even give them a chance to change, you will never know their true intentions.

Anyway, I'll say it out loud on my blog now.

SNSD Hwaiting! Haha

God knows how long have I not updated my blog. This holidays I'm trying to catch up with some revision. Don't think it's going very well. I've been waking up in the morning having desires to play my old PC games. Just dug out my Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic and started playing like some addict. Wasted like...2 days. What's worse is that I don't even feel guilty. Something is terribly terribly wrong. Shit man... I've gotta get myself back on track. Breathe Jerry. Breathe and get back on track.

I'm trying to substitue books and TV for computer time. So hence I'm saving up of alot of books and DVDs. Haha. I think I'll buy

1.Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer (Just need it to complete my collection. Read it before already)

2. Yakuza Moon by Shoko Tendo. Really great book about Yakuza stuff

3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. That's definately worth reading again.

Now moving on to DVDs.

1. Detroit Metal City

2. Jumong. Have been wanting to watch that ever since it just came out.

3. Twilight perhaps? I know I know, there's something called "Video streaming online". Just for collection and stuff yeah?

That's alot of money. Haha.

Alright, getting back to work. Before I go I want to show you all my favourite, spastic, yan-qiang type commercial. Haha no offense yan qiang.

Check out the Heineken commercial that sent me into a spasm of laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1ZZreXEqSY

Skeletons in the Closet

Everyone has memories that they hide deep within their heart, especially painful memories that they bandanged carefully deep within their heart. You don't talk about it, even thinking about it makes you sad. If you have some memories like this, imagine this:

What would happen if someone just tore apart that bandage you spent weeks, months, or even years wrapping it around your heart? If you do, you probably understand how I'm feeling right now. It's literally deja vu. The past memories which I have been trying desperately to forget, to seal, to recover from just come rushing back at me. It hurts. To the point where I actually can feel blood just gushing out of my heart like a raging river.

It's not the point that I can't suck it up or I am taking this too seriously. Maybe you just didn't know the background story of this thing. If you do, then perhaps you'll understand. But thanks anyway. Appreciate it.

For those who just enjoy watching me fall, just remember that what you say will come back to you. And this time, I will be the one telling that to you straight at your face. I won't forget today. I swear I never will.

Sometimes I wish I can tell what happened to someone. So that whoever that listened will do something nice such as say some words of encouragement, offer advice and tips, or whatever it is you can do.Then things will be much easier. But somehow, like what I said in the beginning, this are some of the skeletons in my closet.

Now this incident just makes it more difficult for me to really trust someone.

Hurts doesn't it?

Science Vs Religion

Interesting topic. Inspired by the movie "Angels and Demons". It's a marvellous show, by the way, please do catch it if you have the free time. I saw the same topic on Amelia's blog too while blog-hopping. I was thinking of writing some long and cheem stuff about this, which I possibly will if I have the free time. But in the meantime, I'll give you the same question that may be floating in people's mind after the movie.

Science and Religion. Which side will you pick?

This blog has gone stale. Sometimes I'm updating it just for the sake of updating it. It's not as if anyone reads it except myself who checks it almost every day because I have nothing better to do on my computer. I'm bored. Totally bored. There is nothing to do, nothing to be done, and no energy to do it with (MockingBird Flashback). Worse of all i just feel lousy. Lousy that I just screwed my Mid-years. Totally screwed it up. Procrastinating. I'm never going to do that again. I swear i'll get a heart attack if there is a repeat of this, but this term I just feel tired. Exhausted. Frustrated. Blah. Don't know what the hell happened to me. This wasn't what happened in Term 1. All that I worked for has seemed to go down the drain. A drain that leads to the big "Motivation Disposal Centre".

Hell, what's done cannot be undone. But where I've failed before, I'll succeed this time. There can't be anymore room for mistakes like this. All there is to do now is just think about how I can do better for my Prelims and eventually the Big O's.

Going back into procrastinating, it's something that makes my life living hell for the past 2 weeks. In fact I feel so burnt out right now my mind is a total blank. Even Kami No Shizuku, the drama which I've been saving up a long time for, doesn't interest me anymore. It was quite a disappointing show. I should have bought Beethoven Virus instead. Sigh...

What's next for me? June holidays use to catch up work, Lit seminar which I'll be presenting my very weird ideas in, mug, mug, and more mugging I guess. I just hope that I can be disciplined enough. It's what always kills me. This time it'll be different. Even if it means smashing my com with a bloody hammer. I'll do it.

传说- 林宥嘉 feat, 刘力扬

Curtain Call

Every day, people wake up in the morning and look into the mirror. As they look into the face staring right back at them, they see a face of weariness. In their eyes they see exhaustion and a lack of motivation, with the intention of barely scraping past each day.

However, that is not so for 40 boys today. When they wake up and look into their mirror, they see a face of determination, a face of hunger. In their eyes, there is only fire. Fire that represents desire, hunger, and passion. It is not a wildfire, but it burns brightly and strongly within them. For they wake up with only one thought in mind, and that is "We're gonna beat the crap out of RI. And those are not just words, we will do it. Doubt me? Look inside my eyes now. Look hard." These are some of the 40 members of the SJI Rugby team. Each and every one of them possess the determination and courage to face the game. Each of them brought their balls with them.

This was our last match. Our B'Divs were going to give our best, and nothing but the best. It had been a stalemate for majority of the first half, but a penalty gave us a lead of 3-0. It was a narrow lead. But the second half was one that we will never forget. The try scored by RI which allowed them a slight lead of 2 points, the disappointment of the crowd then. But it was not over. Another penalty put us bad in the lead by only 1 point. I believe that from that point onwards, SJI displayed the true spirit of rugby, stepped up and fought harder than before. Jamal's try and the conversion sealed the deal.

We were 3rd place. The same batch of players that gotten 6th place in the C Division Championships 2 years ago. It was a moment that we will never forget. Every one of us rushed to the field, with only the adrenaline of winning pumping our legs. It was our moment, our time. We made it, we stepped up, we sucked up the pain, and it's finally ours. Finally ours.

After almost 6 months of intensive training, with physical sessions that are bound to make you feel exhaustion like you have never felt before, with times where each and every one of us groaned in frustration and sometimes doubted our abilities. We sacrificed, we shed blood, shed tears, pulled muscles, popped shoulders throughout this season. We worked so hard, gave so much.

And yet, as the referee's final whistle blew, all of that transformed into tears of joy. Tears that we shed in recognition that our efforts have finally paid off. All those pain we have suffered and endured were replaced by the taste of victory. The sensation of defeating our arch-rivals and again rising up to the occasion. The Sec 4s shed tears as they know that that was the last chance that they were going to play together, to train together as a team.

The curtain has finally fallen. Our rugby season is over. Although we might not play together again, the spirit of the SJI Rugby Team and the B Division of 2009 will forever shine in our hearts. Each and every one of you who have walked with the team is special. Keep the flame alive boys. You have done the school proud and brought them glory.

Take a bow, and listen. Can you hear it? The cheers and the applause? Listen closely. Because that sound will always continue to ring and echo in your mind. Remember it, and remember it well. That, is the sound of victory, the sound is a testimonial of the spirit of the SJI Rugby Team.

Let it burn inside us, for this is a spirit fueled by passion and determination.

No Fear, No Pain, No Regrets.
Rock on B'Divs!

Thanks For The Memories

A few months back a group of people decided that they wanted to change something. They set their minds to it, and no matter how much they suffered for it, what kept them going is that one day that dream will come true. The dream that they bled for, they worked for, they cried for and they promised that they will do it no matter what.

If you're reading this guys I just wanna say something here. I've always wanted to say this to you before the game starts but heck, I'll leave that to someone who can really get you all fired up. But anyway,

I hope you guys will remember what we did throughout the few months of intensive training. The PTs that we got under the heat, the 11x400m sprints that made every one of us swear, groan and wished that we were at home sleeping. Remember the bridge PT that is enough to make every one of our knees weak and our thighs burn? What kept us from going? It's that spark of hope we have. The hope that we will be better than before, the hope that we can come back stronger, faster and more aggressive than before. The hope that we can one day say proudly to ourselves "We did our best and we made it". We. Made. It. That is the only thing we are going to say to ourselves when this is over.

The season has been tough for all of us. The unexpected loss against Bedok Town, how the pressure is on us to win every single game to make it into round 2, the grudge match against ACS Barker, how we proved everyone wrong by making it into the semi finals by beating JunYuan. We have pushed ourselves, strained our muscles, made our sacrifices. Now it's time to make sure that those sacrifices and the pain we endured was worth it. Did we endure hell during the PTs? Well, it's time to unleash that hell onto RI. Let's make them feel whatever we felt during all those times of Physical Training. They will feel exhaustion, the feeling of cracking and giving up will haunt them throughout the game, and unlike us, they, will not have the strength to continue.

Tomorrow, it's the end of our season. Tomorrow, will be the day the curtains fall on the B'Divs 2009. Let the cheers and the applause ring for us, and us only. Can you guys hear it? The sound of victory? The taste of it? It's so close to us. It's time to get the game on.

Somewhat Disturbed

Dad was nice enough to take me to watch "ShinJuku Incident" yesterday. I must admit that I'm still not quite used to seeing Jackie Chan doing drama, but nevertheless it was a quite a spectacular performance by Jackie Chan. It was also my first time seeing an NC-16 movie in the cinema, although I haven't turned 16 yet. I believe that the ratings nowadays are overrated, so thus I wasn't expecting much violence in this show. However at the end, it was more of the politics that shocked me, besides the violence in the show. There were certain parts in the movie that will cause complaints if it was released PG. There was this scene where Daniel Wu's face gets carved and his hand chopped off by the Yakuza and other scenes of violence which may stir the stomach of some people.

However, it's the betrayal, the ending and the politics involved that made the movie truly disturbing. Sometimes I wonder how these people sleep at night. Yakuza politics involves lots of chess pieces. The one who can play them well and not become one themselves becomes the true victor. I would reccommend this movie to those who wants to see a different side of Jackie Chan, him being the villian and all.

Sometimes there are bastards in this world that are out to ruin your life for no particular reason that you understand. It's just like, one sudden day someone's attitude towards you changes completely. I used to feel sad about that, honestly. Losing someone whom you used to talk to is sad.

Now,

I don't give a shit. So just go ahead and try. I'm willing to lose people like that.

Cape No. 7

友子,

"遇見了要往台灣避冬的烏魚群
我把對你的相思寄放在其中的一隻
希望你的漁人父親可以捕獲
友子，儘管他的氣味辛酸
你也一定要嚐一口
你會明白…
我不是拋棄你，我是捨不得你
我在眾人熟睡的甲板上反覆低喃
我不是拋棄你，我是捨不得你"

"我把我在台灣的相簿都留給你
就寄放在你母親那兒
但我偷了其中一張
是你在海邊玩水的那張
照片裡的海沒風也沒雨
照片裡的你，笑得就像在天堂
不管你的未來將屬於誰
誰都配不上你
原本以為我能將美好回憶妥善打包
到頭來卻發現我能攜走的只有虛無
我真的很想妳！
啊，彩虹！
但願這彩虹的兩端
足以跨過海洋，連結我和妳"


"我的相思你一定要收到
這樣你才會原諒我一點點
我想我會把你放在我心裡一輩子
就算娶妻、生子
在人生重要的轉折點上
一定會浮現…
你提著笨重的行李逃家
在遣返的人潮中，你孤單地站著
你戴著那頂…
存了好久的錢才買來的白色針織帽
是為了讓我能在人群中發現你吧！
我看見了…我看見了…
你安靜不動地站著
你像七月的烈日
讓我不敢再多看你一眼
你站得如此安靜
我刻意冰涼的心，卻又頓時燃起
我傷心，又不敢讓遺憾流露
我心裡嘀咕，嘴巴卻一聲不吭
我知道，思念這庸俗的字眼
將如陽光下的黑影
我逃他追…我追他逃…
一輩子
我會假裝你忘了我
假裝你將你我的過往
像候鳥一般從記憶中遷徙
假裝你已走過寒冬迎接春天
我會假裝…
一直到自以為一切都是真的！
然後…
祝你一生永遠幸福！"

I was hoping to write this in chinese, but it'll probably take me a long time to write this post. I will probably edit this later, but please enjoy reading these quotations from the love letters in the movie "Cape No. 7". Those words will break a person's heart and at the same time paint a beautiful picture of love. Please, enjoy it. I did.

K-Pop Fan? Perhaps...

I think I'm some sort of Wonder Girls fan now. Not saying I'm some kind of sicko but their songs are really catchy and nice. The following two are some of the more emo songs by them.

This Time



Saying I Love You

Back From Camp

Hey all those who still click on the link to my blog. I'm here to tell you that I've just come back from a camp which just kicks ass, apart from a few tiny areas of improvement. A good job to all the Facilitators, it totally rocks to be in the same Camp Comm as you all la. I'm sure the camp will get better and better. We had fun yeah? So thanks to:

RenXin
Iris
Han Jie
Yu Yue
Tian Yu
Yu Hang
Ni Shuai
Xu Chang
Aonan
Li Xue
Krystal
Zi Ran
Shuai Cheng
Xiao Jiao
YuFung
JiaHui Jie

Hope I didn't miss out any names. And last but not least.... A BIG THANKS TO XULONG! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! YEAAAAH! Haha. It was fun throughout the few months. Really enjoyed it. Hope I can be part of this again.

School's Out

1st term is over. I shan't bother you with O'Level countdowns, but I'm here to make a post completely unrelated to studies.

It's something completely random. It's something about WonderGirls! Haha check out their videos. They're damn cute.

Nobody



Tell Me



Haha Enjoy it guys.


Edit: Oh I forgot something else too. A vid of my favourite Wonder Girl

Sun Ye!

Crush

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Has it ever cross your mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
(Goin away yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do

Tired to write anything

As the title goes, I'm really tired to write anything now. So I'll just introduce some videos instead. They're great piano solos composed by Joe Hisaishi, who composed most of the music in Hayao Miyazaki's movies. Wonderful filmmaker, extraordinary composer. Check it out.

The Wind Of Life



Innocent

What happens when people try to come into your home, and take away all you got? Everything you worked for? What would you do?

We beat the SHIT out of that person.

That is what happened today. An 8-0 win over ACS Barker. Good job guys. Let the flame continue to burn, remember every moment of it. You all are warriors and fighters, and SJI will fight their way through every match, every lineout. We don't just play. We play with all we got.

This is the mindset that I will always remember. SJI B'Divs 2009, keep fighting. We deserve the finals.

Whack

It all boils down to tomorrow. Let's go guys. People are coming to our home to steal our pride and all that we've worked hard for away. Let them know that we are not to be messed around with or fucked with. We're gonna show them what we are made of. Our blood, sweat, tears pain and all that we've endured, we're gonna give it all to you. Every. Single. Thing. Be afraid, be VERY afraid.

I tried my best... I really did. So why can't the tears stop flowing?

I hate this. The feeling of it. Everything about it. We're gonna rise back up, and do it harder than ever. We're gonna screw everyone who meets us. Let's start from today. I will work harder than ever. I will make the best out of it. God help me.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step

SJI Vs Bukit Batok. Final score: Victory to us at 34-0. It was a good match, but there are definately more room for improvements. Alot of people played very well today. There is joy and disappointment. Disappointment because Coach didn't even put me in. Nevermind, my hopes are still up for the other matches ahead. Now it's gonna be 100% full steam man...

Best Shot

Tomorrow is our first match in the B'Divs season. In the past few months we have sweat, swore, bled and endured all the times of physical trainings and field trainings. We swallowed the pain and gave it our all. Now it's time to show them what we are made of. All of us worked too hard. There is only one way that we can go. Let's do this people. Give it our best shot. We worked too hard to give up. Let's convert all our pain into points. All the best B'Divs. May God Bless Us. Amen.

Speechless

I don't know whether to apologise or say nothing, I don't know whether I should feel sad or angry or whatever. All I feel now is confusion. I'm really terribly sorry if I caused you hurt, but there are things that are more important to me that I have to complete.There are things that I cannot give up, things I must finish off well. Hope you understand. I treasure this friendship alot.

Good Luck

To all the Sec 4s whom I know who are receiving their posting results tomorrow, I wish you all the best of luck and I really hope you get into the schools that you want. May all of you be blessed and motivated to work harder towards your dreams and goals and never let anything get into your path. I wish you all success! Jiayou!

Symbols

I just had the weirdest dream last night. I was playing in a basketball match involving all the SJI friends I know. Chindi snatched the ball away from me, and all of a sudden I was in the TDP Chinese classroom having lessons with the TDP dudes and some people from another school. A good friend of mine was there too, but left straight away without even saying "Hi" or something. Next thing I know, I was following to see what's wrong. I saw her crying as she walked straight into this road full of traffic. I felt my skin jump out of me as I rushed to save her from this incoming car. I carried her on my back as I tried to cross that road, weaving through traffic. I felt the struggle and the tears on my back. But as I was about to step on the other side, I woke up... Feeling very odd.

Dreams always tells us somethings, but not in a direct way. It sends you weird symbols instead. Sometimes I wish I can decipher dreams, that way I would know what's missing in me.

天路

荡气回肠，这首歌，唱出了西藏的美丽，唱出了修建青藏高路英雄们的血汗和辛苦，修建了一条天路。每当我听这首歌时，心里有一种说不出的激动。一首歌的力量竟然那么大...

你不是真正的快乐

人群中 哭著 你只想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢 或痛 或心動了
你已經決定了 你已經決定了

你 靜靜 忍著 緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜 就是 越傷人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這 世界 笑了 於是妳合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則 不是 你的選擇
於是妳 含著眼淚 飄飄盪盪 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂 你的傷從不肯完全的癒合
我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了 然後才後悔著

你值得真正的快樂 你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什麼失去了 還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓 悲傷全部 結束在此刻 重新開始活著

歌词，怎么让我那么伤心？

My Insides Are Turned To Ash

It's scary sometimes, that you find one day that you're fighting for something that don't exist, or fighting for something that was way out of your reach. You made so much effort, sacrificed so much. And now all of a sudden you don't know what you are fighting for. It's scary, heartbreaking and painful at the same time. It's scary that you don't know what you are fighting for. It's painful to know that perhaps all of your efforts have gone to waste. Zero. Please give me a reason to continue. Please prove me wrong. Please....

****

Went back to training after one whole week of MC. Was completely disappointed in myself. I was so exhausted by the PT that I couldn't continue for the rest of the training, so I just sat in one corner and watched. What the hell is wrong with me. Training today for me was f-king shit. F-king shit with a capital F. It just couldn't get any more worse. Now I have to start from scratch again. My fitness level has just dropped all the way to ZERO. ZERO. Now I have to experience the pain, the fatigue, the light-headedness all over again before I adapt to the training regime. God I don't know how I can do this again. But I know I have to, bit by bit, and hopefully make my way up. My body may be a liability now, but just watch. I will persevere and endure as long as I'm conscious and awake. I will hold on with every inch of my willpower.

Songs That Kept Me Alive

星晴- 周杰伦



安静-周杰伦



最长的电影- 周杰伦



阳光宅男- 周杰伦



幸福不灭- 罗志祥



我最近超喜欢周董的歌。小猪的最后一首也非常好听。

Someone just kill me

I thought I recovered from my flu till after inter-class. We got 7th position. Not a bad end but I believed that we could do better if we had been more serious. After inter-class my nose started to block like mad. I couldn't even pronounce the letter "N" properly. Woke up with a really sore throat, blocked nose and fever the next day. I couldn't go for training that day but still dragged my lifeless body to school. After this was just a routine cycle of taking medicine, sleeping, blowing nose, coughing... etc. Thank God that I still kept my previous supply of Panamol which helped lower my body temperature. It has been a constant struggle in the morning trying not to sleep despite taking 2 medicines which causes severe drowsiness.

To illustrate that point, I took the cough syrup in the afternoon at 3:30pm and went to sleep and around 3:45pm on Friday. I woke up at 7:48pm, wondering what the hell I was doing lying on my bed at such a time. Well, I won't elaborate on going to school with flu+fever+alot of shit, but now as I'm feeling much better, it's time to get back to some serious work. I need a speedy recovery, and cough out all the rubbish/garbage/sick stuff in my body.

I saw this prayer in my school diary today. Honestly this is the first time I've found a prayer so suited and powerful for me.


The Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary
that never was it known that anyone who
fled to your protection, implored your help
or sought your intercession, was left unaided
Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you,
O Virgins or virgins, my Mother
To you I come, before you I stand
sinful and sorrowful,
O Mother of the Word Incarnate.
despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

No Matter What

No Matter what happens, I'm sticking with you guys, whether I make it into the team or not. I will fight and give my all. I won't leave this last year with regrets.

Tired.... but still going on

I'm trying my best to survive the week and make it a good one. Studying is especially hard after training, where your body is so inclined towards just falling asleep on the nice, comfortable bed beside you. It's an internal struggle everytime that happens, and it's especially hard if you're doing topics like Chemistry. I swear that yesterday night I was this close to giving up. Frustration and fatigue mixed together to form one hundred percent of fked-up ness. If it wasn't for retail therapy and music, the process of going to school and studying will have become much more mundane.

I bought Snow Patrol's "A Hundred Million Suns" on tuesday. That's $18.95 gone from my earnings from waxing and washing my parent's cars, but I didn't regret it. Although there are a few songs which sounded kind of weird to me, but I'll give you some recommendations.

Crack The Shutters



If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It



I love listening to music.

This is the life that we're given, so open your hearts and live it

That song by Take That is really inspiring, but it's not enough to move my butt out of the emo zone. Honestly I didn't want school to start. I know stuff like that happens every year, but the feeling is extra-ordinarily strong this year. It's distracting me again. Stuff like that make me look as if I'm possessed or something. I'm always staring into space and pushing off leadership postitions. Anyway I have my two years of service as a class committee already. It's time to give it to someone else who can do the job better.

Come on Jerry, pick yourself up. There's no time for such things known as "Nostalgia" this year anymore. No matter how badly you want it, you can't live in that. Pick yourself up. You can do it.