Friday, February 26, 2010

Please Take A Second Look

I noticed I tend to behave oddly around girls, especially when I'm around my classmates and OG mates. I'll share some of these things here.

1. I tend to crack jokes. Alot. Unnecessary ones. ALOT of unnecessary jokes.

2. I tend to suan them alot.

3. This is the most weird. I will start saying nonsensical stuff to myself.

4, I will tend to whine a little too. WHINE. Can you believe it?

As a result of these 4 behaviours, I have OG mates who thinks every sentence that comes out of my mouth is an insult. And i may become a serious pain in the ass sometimes. If I saw me, I would dislike me.

I do that because sometimes I just don't know how to react in front of girls. Then I will do this auto-switch into my "Stupid and Annoying mode". It's not really my true self la... I am not that mean. And I don't mean 99% of the stuff I say.

It's a flaw, but it does not truly reveal who I am. I guess it might be some sort of mask that I unconsciously wear on my face. It's like... I know this is happening but every time I try to tear it from my face, it sticks on even harder than before. How can I ever remove it? Bit by bit I guess.

I always thought that humour brings people closer together. Hence I have all these retarded stuff coming out of me. Apparently it's not always the case. Hence, I'm at a lost of what to do. When this happens I may seem odd.

Just wanna let you all know that you're awesome and please do give me a chance to let me show you who I really am. You might ask "Why didn't I do this earlier?"
Well, it's a long story and I really wished that I could share it with you, but it's something that is hidden waaay down. I wish I could, really.

Who in the world likes being the "mean one" or the "lame one"?. It's meant to be a rhetorical question. No jokes with the first word of the paragraph please.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bottled Up

Before I joined ACJC, I always thought that regardless of who you are, AC=Snobs and arrogant bastards who are self-centered. This, is of course wrong. I have had many nice friends in the college and I'm really thankful for that. I love the school. I really do.

I had a drastic change of opinions for ACJC. Despite that, I believe that many people still share the above opinions about AC. I went down to a school to sell my coupons today and it was honestly one of the most embarrassing and awkward moment ever. Wearing the uniform inside makes you look like a live target for people to direct their cold-stares and perhaps insults on. It pisses me off but I think I can't really blame them for what they think now, since I shared similar opinions too. I guess it's hard to convince them to think otherwise. Don't think they'll ever know the full story until they actually study there.

However, I did notice some common questions and I wanted to post some thoughts about it. So here goes:

1. Your school is so rich already. Why must you raise funds?

Firstly, all the sports facilities you see in ACJC were all raised by previous Fun-O-Ramas which took like... at least 10-20 years perhaps. Of course there are donations but majority of the hard work goes to the members of the school to set up stalls and come down to your school to sell coupons. Mind you, we're raising funds almost by ourselves to make the school better. Please do not criticize us for ripping your beloved cash away from you. We don't like to do it too. Sometimes we have no choice. Despite that, we're really sincere in what we say to you. Your help is really appreciated.

2. Telling them that you're from AC is as good as throwing away your opportunities to sell the coupons.

Because of the opinion I've talked about in the beginning, many people turn their heads away immediately when they hear anything "AC" related. You don't need to be a psychologist to read their minds.

With regards to the trend above, I just want to point out that your school, no matter how "humble" you think it is, houses snobs and bastards too. Please do not do all this "school-profiling" thing even though it's difficult for you to stop thinking stuff like that since you don't understand the AC school culture well. It's definately not one that encourages pragmatism and turns angels into demons. School profiling is unfair, and I think that "whispering" stuff like "ACJC sucks" to a group of less than 20 ACJC students in your school just shows us how much balls you have.

It's an unfair thing to do, because everyone have different personalities. Not everyone is a slut/bastard. Same goes for your school. Don't judge a book by its cover, and more importantly someone from his/her uniform. Give yourself a chance to know someone else better by looking at the person's personality instead. Don't leave a bad impression of your school in our hearts. I believe it won't be nice to both parties.

So.... In conclusion, we're students like you do. We have to take A'Levels and we are definately not a party school. It's pretty stupid if you thought we were something else. So... why see us differently when in fact all of us are the same? Is it because of the uniform we're wearing now? Is it fair to stereotype a person you don't know from a particular institute just because you've had nasty experiences or heard rumours about them?

Frankly we don't deserve that. This is why I try to shun away from any forms of sterotypes and racial profiling. I think this is just unfair to the person who is the target of all your shit.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Happy CNY.... Maybe

I'm not pessimistic about Chinese New Year. After all, it is an occasion where families get together and sit around the table for a reunion dinner, catch up about all the things they have done recently, be it investments or business or schoolwork. Then they will go visiting relative's houses to collect Red Packets and perhaps sell some Fun-O-Rama coupons. Hahahaha. It is a time to rejoice in the reunion of families and just immerse yourself in the warmth and comfort of your family.

All those scenarios described above, does not usually fit me. I won't whine about how I have no relatives in Singapore because most of them are like... in different parts of the world. but being denied experiences like these made me cynical about CNY. Although I do collect Red Packets from my parents, well I still feel that all those "festivities" and the "mood" is missing. To make matters worse, my mom left Singapore to Europe for a businesstrip during CNY eve because there is some telecomm show held by the people there.

Nicely done, ang-mohs. Don't you know this appointment is made 5000 years ago already?

So here I am, typing this post because there is this irritating sense of emptiness inside of me, emptiness cause perhaps by loneliness and alot of other things. Oh well, since I'm an " I " person (MBTI thing), I should be okay with it. After all, I've been living with myself for so long.

Happy Chinese Valentine's Day Everyone

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Uncertainty kills

Uncertainty kills, and it's killing me right now.

That's why I've made a decision.

I just want to move on with my life, if you want to go with me, awesome.

If you don't, please just tell me so that at least I won't be tortured by my own thoughts.

Sometimes I just wanna be sure

Friday, February 5, 2010


It's amazing what 5 days can do to a group of strangers coming from different schools. Looking back at these eventful days, I'm amazed at how we grew to bond together and also how we grew closer to each other. I still remember the first day when we introduced ourselves to each other. Sheriff (Zhan Hong) definately didn't talk much, Winston was basically silent, and most of us were still awkward with each other. After that day, through the games and activities, especially Scrabble, I started opening myself more to all of you. By the time we played the Shampoo game I can say that I'm totally in love with this group. I'm sure most of you all started to become more active in the group too.

It's really awesome the way we cheered each other on in games, how we all complained that certain lectures and totally boring and a waste of our precious time, and how we all agree that sitting in the hall for freaking 6 hours bores the hell out of us.

Campfire totally rocked. We were screaming at the top of our lungs despite having sore throats and joined human trains going nowhere again and again. It was totally awesome. At the end, the fact that we're all going to go into our individual classes next week just suddenly dawned on me. Just when we are so familiar and so bonded with each other, we're splitting up. Well.... although it cannot be avoided, I was still feeling kinda emotional when I bade farewell to all of you. I wonder if I'll ever be in the same class as you, but chances of that kinda little I guess considering my subject combinations. The thought that we might have little chances of seeing each other again once the workload is dumped on us like how a garbage truck dumps garbage into the landfill.

Anyway, all of this wouldn't be possible without our awesome fantastic wonderful and amazing OGLs, Kelly, Renaldy and Joanna. They stuck with us and never stopped encouraging us, always reminding that they're there for us when we need them and true enough, they fufilled their promise. MAIM would never be the same without you, and I couldn't even imagine what it will be like if the 3 of you hadn't reached out your hand deep into our hearts. I think it's worth repeating this again: MAIM OGLs are awesome fantastic wonderful and amazing. I Love You.

Aaaaannnnd to all MAIM OG mates, you are definately one of the most terrific OG mates ever. I had so much fun with you guys. I know some of the stuff here are kinda weird and maybe a little mushy, and it's not something that a guy will usually write but I just figured that since I have the inspiration right after campfire, I might as well let these ideas flow out of my mind and into my fingertips. I will most definately treausre these memories and I just wanted to say that I love you all so much because you have given me so much, more than what I asked for in the first place.

Orientation Ends, but MAIM stays on forever. This is just the beginning. I'll work hard to make it last. I hope I've been a nice OG Rep to you. MAIM FTW!