Monday, May 24, 2010

Bad Days

It's just one of these days when you feel as if the whole world turns upside down on you, when you just feel that your tolerance towards life has reached zero. Everything seems to go the other way for you, as if you're stuck in your own Philadelphia. This is exactly what happened to me today. It just didn't feel right, and I just didn't feel myself at all. If I'm really in a Philadelphia, should I start asking for opposite things instead?

Well, anyway today was one of the days where I wasn't really myself at all. Hope it ends, and hope you can understand that some days just start off in a strangely shitting manner.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


This is something that SJI does to me over the past few years. Whenever there is an event which struck me or touched me or inspired me or induced any kind of emotion within me, there will be this urge for me to write it down, no matter where or through what mediums. I've stated in my previous post that I wanted to write about Glissando. Despite the tremendous workload and my parent's displeasure, I will now write something about it.

Let's start with a story of me quite some time ago when I first entered AC and had a difficulty choosing CCAs. I was split between choosing water polo and guitar. Actually my first choice at that time was Water Polo, since I was a rugger before and wanted to seek another adrenaline-pumping sport. Yes, water polo trainings has indeed been extremely fun. The insane treading water and the times where we practised our shots. It has been tiring, with trainings ending at 7:30-8:00pm, but it was definately one of the most exhilarating sport.

Thus, from about February to March, if I remember correctly, was one of the most frustrating times I ever had. I've never had such a difficult dilemma. I tried going for both, but of course it wasn't easy to manage. I'm not Tim Lau. Haha. So anyway, I shall go past the details of how I finally set my mind on Guitar. Did I regret it? Of course there were regrets during the first few weeks that I joined. The familiar feeling of adrenaline and aggressiveness pumping inside you was missing. It's like some kind of drug that you need to have.

Through the course of time, guitar has become more and more enjoyable to me. I have awesome section leaders and section mates, awesome seniors who taught me songs that I've always wanted to learn. So there I was, practising the 3 competition pieces, and never really enjoying it because my music knowledge and understanding is really quite limited. I've never really completely mastered Jalousie before extra sectionals, and the only thing I could play was bar 18. I really owe my gratitude to my SLs and Jade for teaching me how to play correctly and getting the dynamics right. It was a steep learning curve for me, but well I never thought of giving up.

Then the moment of magic came. It was during our competition performance that I truly expereienced this magical feeling of ACGE. All our hard work just boiled down to that 3 pieces. And when we played it, I had this feeling that time stopped for a moment around me, and all there remains was the sound of our guitars playing Lotus Eaters, Jalousie and Sleepers Awake. It was after this period of time where I decided to really put my heart and soul into this. It was, to a certain extent my realization. I love this CCA.

And so I practised with whatever time I have for the concert. The many different pieces that we had to play were difficult to manage. I must confess that I did screw up parts in the concert. Malaguena, La Cuccaracha, Pirates, Obla Di Obla Da, and Sleepers Awake to name a few. Despite that, I think we owned the stage that night. Hearing the solo pieces and the group items from behind the screen was awesome. I had regrets that I screwed up those parts, but what's even more sad is that the seniors are officially stepping down after Glissando, and it will be the last time that I ever performed with them. It is sad that G2 sectionals may never be the same as before again, and the seniors who helped me so much were leaving for awhile to prep for the A's.

Obla-Di, Obla-Da, Life goes on. We're starting our practise without the J2s tomorrow. Do I still miss them? Yes I do. Although I do miss having ensemble and practises with them, I must move on. That is perhaps the most difficult part. I'm not the type of person who will force myself to look forward in situations like these. I would rather be immersed in these memories until time washes them away from me. "Not what a guy is supposed to do", "That's damn gay and weak of you to do that", if you're thinking of stuff like these right now, I don't really care. That's just who I am sometimes.

Nevermind that. Thanks to all the J2s who made this journey such an awesome one. May you achieve success in your examinations and future endeavours. I know not what my fate in Guitar is, whether I'll make it to the Exco or become an SL, but what I know is that everything I do for this CCA I do it with my heart and soul, just like what some of my seniors did. I'm giving it everything I got. Perhaps that's all I need to know.

ACGE 4Eva. Hahaha

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Updates Soon

I want to do some updates on my Glissando.... but right now I'm too tired to do so. Will probably do it some other day.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Recently I just saw a facebook group titled "Singapore is NOT China" on one of my friend's wall. Curious, I decided to take a look. They always say : "Curiousity kills the cat". What I got for my curiousity was anger. Anger towards how insensitive and immature some Singaporeans can be.

Yes. Of course Singapore is NOT China. Anyone knows that. It doesn't take a genius to identify the geographical differences between China and Singapore. However, as I browsed through the comments there, I came across stuff like:

1. "my teacher from china asked us to do an article on china. i asked why and she said because we are chinese,which makes us linked to china. HELLO? i am a singaporean? not a china chinese?
CHINA cyclist near my home are cycling their bikes super fast as if they are in china.They even rode their bikes across the bus stop! You see them,they dont ... See Moregive way to you. They even sped up. Nearly got knocked down by them for alot of times. I HATE CHINA PEOPLE TO THE MAX.
they complain about singapore plus singaporeans. Then what for they come here? GO BACK CHINA LA.

2. "why gov accept the PRC creatures?bcos they can speak mandarin which our gov promote.

Abdullah Mohd Aziz - Agree with u that foreigners are welcome, anyone that goes to other country should and must adapt to language and culture of that country.
Example if you were to go any part of the world you must at least try learn their language(... See Morebasic) to communicate.
The chinese national that work here expect us to understand their national language.
Pity to the Foreign Domestic Helper(maid) need to pass ENGLISH test lor..."

3."they talk so loud as if the other party were deaf and they got no sense of courtesy or manners like spitting their saliva and their accent is sooo damn awful. im so disgusted.. please stop this alien migrate to our country. And they are so damnnnn kiasu . With this kinda of attitute, they don't fit in our society. our ...society is unique in singlish not loud speaking mandarin."

And the list goes on and on.... These are just some randomly-selected comment which I think are a good representation of immature comments. If you are interested to read them all, there are about 164 of them on the wall of the facebook group.

Actually I'm quite upset about the whole "Singaporean Chinese" and "China Chinese" issue. I personally don't see the difference. Most "Singaporean Chinese" had parents and ancestors who were from Chaozhou (Teochew) , FuJian (Hokkien) and Guangdong (Hakka). I daresay almost all of the so-called "Singaporean Chinese" have origins from one of these provinces. You can deny this fact by saying "I was born right here in Singapore", but you cannot deny the fact that you are Chinese.

You share the same Mother Tongue, practise the same culture as the Chinese people worldwide, not just in China. I'm not looking at the geographical aspect, but I'm focusing on the fact that no matter which country you're born in, we're all Chinese and hence I really don't see why we still have to draw such a clear border between us. So what if you're a Chinese born in the US? Or Singapore? Or China? Or Malaysia?

Wouldn't it be a ridiculous thing if you have Chinese blood flowing in you and yet you tell someone "Oh no there is a distinct difference. We are Singaporeans. They are Chinese". Paradoxical, isn't it? How we recite the pledge everyday that "Regardless of race, language or religion", we aim to build a "democratic society based on justice and equality". Some of us have recited the pledge for more than 10 years of their lives, and here we are, looking down on people from China just because they speak English with an accent, and have a poor command of the language, and have the habit of speaking loudly, and some of their behaviour is unacceptable.

I do not disagree with the fact that I have my own share of unpleasant experiences of working with them. But that is DEFINATELY NOT a reason to show prejudices. I despise those who says "Go back to China because you're snatching all our jobs" or "Go back to China. Your behviour sucks". Firstly, it's a competitive world. There are no such thing as "reserved jobs" in society. Want a job? Then you have to compete with the millions of people around the world who share your views. Secondly, who are you to determine whether someone's behaviour sucks or not? Saying that China people are rude and impolite but yet you yourself are making such racist comments on the internet. Does this make your behaviour "acceptable"?

I have my own share of bad experiences too. But that doesn't mean I'm prejudiced against them. Just because you've met a certain bunch of rude chinese people means that the whole billion of them are like that. Who are you to determine the behaviour of an entire country? Singapore has their own bunch of inconsiderate people too. Does this mean all Singaporeans are inconsiderate? I'm sure you'll all disagree with that.

Singapore is a multi-racial society. I know that having prejudices is a part of human nature. What's important is that we have to try our best to accept these differences. If we can't even do that, and I'm not even talking about between races here. This example has Chinese people despising Chinese people. If we can't even do that, or try our best to do that, how can we hold our head up high and tell other people that we are a "multi-racial" society?

We're not perfect, so please stop the elitist thinking that just because we have a better command of English, we're much more civilised than those who struggled to get their subject-verb agreement correctly. Even we have trouble doing that sometimes.

Here's food for thought for the so-called "Singaporean Chinese" who despises their own Mother Tongue and hates Chinese people because they speak it with an accent:

Will you still be proud to call yourself Chinese if you can't even understand the foundations of which your race was built on?