Promise

I once promised myself:

"Never Hesitate To Reach Out To People in Need, just because you're afraid to be different".

So far I have done that, but there's a burning question inside me.

"When you're in need, who's gonna reach out to you?"

Although the place I go to is considered a third home for me, I just feel so left out inside. I may appear unfriendly and cold towards you, but did you ever think that I stay away because I'm afraid of the fact that I can't fit in? Have you ever thought that I appear anti-social just because I don't know the correct way to communicate, that's why I often say things which don't make sense or don't speak at all.

I may leave early everytime, but everytime I leave early something inside me hurts. I wanna stay, but even if I did, I'll be some spectator. I want to reach out to others, but who's gonna reach out to me when I felt that being me is so tiring?

It's hard that in school some people try to screw around with your life and yet you do not screw up theirs. It's even harder that you have to bear it all alone. Maybe I'm too enthusiatic about everything, but please, do not kill off my enthusiasm because killing that means you're draining away the love and energy inside a person.

Sometimes my intentions are good. It's just the way I present it stinks. I really hope that someone out there can understand that.