I need some retail therapy.

I'm finally done with JAE at like... 12am today. Haha. It has definately been one of the most tiring things ever, choosing schools and attending open houses one after another, although the latter was fun. Hanging out together with Yustynn, Max, Ian and Thomas has been a really fun experience. The open houses were really awesome too because we got familiar people to show us around, so that we won't be provided with politically correct answers when we ask sensitive questions such as "Does your school have a strong sense of school spirit and culture?", or "The girls here hot or not?". Haha.

Now that I'm finally done with it, I really need to go relax abit. I've been thinking of retail therapy, so maybe I'll head down to Ion or something to check out the stores there. I really liked the Uniqlo T-shirts, cheap and comfortable. Maybe I'll get some today.

I guess this marks the end of Phase II. Haha it's time to relax again now before the posting results come out.

Finalizing In Process

My tuesdays and wednesdays were spent visiting open houses, like many other applicants of the JAE. Went to open houses of 3 schools that I'm interested in/asked to check it out by my parents. So I went to CJ, AC and NJ. I know there were many more open houses but unfortunately I can't be in many places at one time.

Visiting open houses really helps me understand the school much better. So now I probably have an idea of which schools I want to pick. A little change in my plans for the CLEP, and now I'm porpbably putting TJ as my 2nd choice. First choice may be ACJC because I was really impressed by their open house. I don't mind NJ too if I could get in, but I guess if I really went there I would mug until I die. So... I hope that I can get into the school of my choice.

Probably read about this loads of times

My O'Level results can be interpreted in many different ways:

1. This is the first time I've ever gotten a single digit since 4 years. 9 Points. That's an improvement I guess. I should be happy. Real happy.

2. I finally got an A1 in English after all the stupid B's and C's for the past 3 years. I should feel happy.

3. My HMT is an A2 instead of the B4 or even C5 or C6. I should feel happy.

4. I managed to get my act together after MYEs. I should be happy that I'm not getting double digit.

5. My Languages and Combined Humanities saved my ass. Literally. If not for those I'll be dead. I should be jumping for joy.

Notice the words "should be". Anyone reading this would know that I'm not. 9 points. I'm not trying to mock those who got 10 and above but to me, 9 points is enough to make me regret for a long time, because there are certain subjects which disappointed me to the core.

1. My Literature. I still don't understand why I got a B3. I expected an A1, I felt so damn good about the paper and now, freaking B3. If I had gotten an A1 I would have been able to go VJ and NJ already.

Is this some kind of sign from God to get me stuck somewhere in the middle? So close but yet so far.... Now I have to make decisions in a very narrow range. Hopefully I can get into the school I want, which is probably TJC where I'll try to apply for the CLEP program. I guess I'm better at Languages than Sciences and Math, drill drill drill only get A2. I won't want to suffer in Science stream, so probably have to go arts.

I have set my mind on CLEP course in TJC. I hope I'm eligible for it. I hope A2 for HMT, A1 for Chinese and A1 for English is enough. Haha Julia if you're reading this could you give me some info on CLEP or any Humanities program in TJ if you know any? Sorry to trouble you.

I'm thinking ACJC, VJC, NJC too. Will try for NJC and VJC arts. I went to CJC open house today. Although the facilities has seen better days, it feels kinda heartwarming. I'm considering that too. But anyway, TJC is still my first choice. I really hope I can go there. Only till then will I be fully relieved. Even though the distance is far, but I'll suck it up. It's just 2 years. I'm gonna stick it through no matter what if I go there.

It is Getting More And More Boring

Yes, My blog is becoming more and more boring. Even I am bored reading my own posts. I think I'm having the writer's block, where absolutely nothing comes into my head when I'm staring at the computer screen. I wish this would change. I miss the days where ideas would just flow freely from my mind and into the keyboard, but now it seems that they are all stuck in a certain part of my brain, as if a huge dam is blocking them. Hate this feeling, but I can't do anything about it. Should I delete this and start over? Or should I delete this and never create another blog again? I don't know. I have more important things on my mind.

Yes, you guessed it. What else besides the O'Level Results? I believe it's on every Sec 4's mind now. I'm having mixed feelings about how my results will turn out now. On one hand I think that I will achieve my goal, and on the other hand I keep on thinking of uncertainties. Uncertainty is frightening. For example, during an injection you're probably more nervous or afraid during the time where the needle does not stick into your flesh. That's the thing. You don't know what will happen. More often am I haunted by uncertainties of how my results will turn out. Will it be good or bad? Will I jump for joy or weep? Will I be contended with my performance or regret again? I don't know. I really don't know.

And that is what precisely is killing me.

Whatever it is, God just give me enough strength to accept it, and hopefully it'll be well. I need this more than ever.

Results on the 11th.... Blah Blah Blah

Finally there's a confirmation of the date. If I told you that I didn't care about my results, that would be bullshit. How can I not? I've been having dreams and nightmares about it since after the exams ended. And as the day draws closer, the more I think about it, the more I feel as if I screwed up for the O's. And the more I think about that the more afraid I get, as if my future will just collapse right in front of me. Screw this paranoia. Look forward. Arghh

Fooled

Saying goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". I guess this is the second time I've been fooled. Once I thought you forgot about me, but when you said you didn't, well I believed it. So I spend time selecting and copying all those stuff, hoping it would really help you if you ever need it.

And I was thick-skinned enough to arrange this meeting, just to wait freaking 40 minutes like some damn idiot. When you finally came with your whole bunch of friends that's when I knew that to you, I'm not actually that important. I felt tired and frustrated. So you know what?

I don't give a damn anymore. You can just fucking throw the stuff I gave you into the bin and i won't give a shit. Last time I'll ever do something foolish like that.

Hope you're happy. Screw so-called "Friendship"

I wish you success. Really

Chinese Songs

A recent trip to the KTV with my parents made me realise that I should be born in the 80's. Because I can only sing songs belonging to that age. It was also during the KTV session where I realised that music during the 80's is totally awesome, one of the best I've ever heard. A little old fashioned, maybe, but it's the period of time where alot of focus is put on their singing abilities instead of outward appearances and advertising. Check out some videos below. They're my personal favourites:

王馨平 - 別問我是誰




情人的眼泪-林忆莲



This version is quite new... co-produced by Dick Lee

Well maybe I'll just upload these two.... Haha call me old fashioned...